How Did You Ever Get Here

One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."

The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?"

"I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."

你是怎样来的？

一个冬天的早晨，一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。“外面太滑了，我每向前迈一步，就要向后退两步。”

老板狐疑地看着他。“噢，是吗？那你是怎样到这里来的？”

“后来我决定放弃，”他说，“然后我就往家里走。”

Creative

Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.

I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.

创造性

第一次求职时，我意识到在列举我所具备的为数不多的条件时，得有点创造性。当问及我是否受过其它的培训时，我老实地回答说我花了三年时间学计算机程序设计课。我得到了那份工作。

我没有提到那门功课我重复学了三年才考及格。

CD Player

While shopping for my first CD player, I was able to decipher most of the technicalese on the promotional signs. One designation had me puzzled, though, so I called over a salesperson and asked, "What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?"

"That means," she said, "that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal - that is, into music."

"In other words this CD player plays CDs."

"Exactly."

CD唱机

在购买我的第一部CD唱机时，我能够解读推销标记上面的大多数技术语言。但是有一个标示却让我颇为迷惑，于是我叫过销售商，问道：“‘混合脉冲D/A变换器’是什么意思？”

“它的意思是，”她说，“这个机器能够读CD碟上加码的数字信息，将它转换成声音信息－也就是说，转换成音乐。”

“换句话说，这个CD唱机能够播放CD碟。”

“正是如此。”

I Am Acting Like a Lady

One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.

He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.

"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"

"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."

我要表现得象位女士

一天，远东百货公司的女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给太太买一件。可是，没过多久，他发现自己已被疯狂的女人冲得踉踉跄跄。

他竭力忍耐着。后来，他低下头，挥动双臂，挤过人群。

“你干嘛？”有人尖声叫道，“你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗？”

“听着，”他说，“我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时。从现在起，我要表现得象个女士。”

How Much Is It?

It was winter, and Mrs. Hermann wanted to do a lot of shopping, so she waited until it was Saturday, when her husband was free, and she took him to the shops with her to pay for everything and to carry her parcels. They went to a lot of shops, and Mrs. Hermann bought a lot of things. She often stopped and said, "Look, Joe! Isn't that beautiful!"

He then answered, "All right, dear, How much is it?" and took his money out to pay for it.

It was dark when they came out of the last shop, and Mr. Hermann was tired and thinking about other things, like a nice drink by the side of a warm fire at home. Suddenly his wife looked up at the sky and said, "Look at that beautiful moon, Joe!"

Without stopping, Mr. Hermann answered, "All right, dear, How much is it?"

多少钱？

严冬来临，荷曼太太想采购一大批东西，所以她就一直等到周六丈夫有空的时候，她拖着他去商店付钱连带拎包裹。他们去了许多商店，荷曼太太买了一大堆东西。她经常停下脚步说道：“看，乔伊!那个多漂亮!”

他总是回答：“好吧!亲爱的，多少钱？”然后掏钱去付款。

他们从最后一家商店出来的时候夜幕已经降临，荷曼先生已精疲力尽了。他心里想着其它事情，比如在家里暖暖的火炉边呷口美酒。突然他太太仰望天空，说道：“看那月亮多美，乔伊!”

荷曼先生不加思索答道：“好吧，亲爱的，多少钱？”